i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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