You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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