I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
