one word: firstdatebathroomanal
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
