I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
