I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
