I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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