someone get that fucking seahorse.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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