so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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