She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize