No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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