I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Also, beer. Big fan.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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