Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
