Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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