im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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