Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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