I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
When are your genitals available?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
