I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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