yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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