She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
