how can u be prego again
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize