Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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