i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
