My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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