Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
