Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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