when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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