Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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