Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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