There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
