whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
