So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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