margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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