she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
