I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
