Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
