I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
