So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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