I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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