Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
