Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
