somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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