He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
