No awkward lesbian experiences without me
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize