Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
