I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
