her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
