I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
