Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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