just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
