Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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