I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Success! We fucked roommates!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
