i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
