This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There's always time for handjobs
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize