I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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