I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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