i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
