Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
