community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
